You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We don't watch enough power rangers
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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