Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
