Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Mom said you looked used
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
