well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
