When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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