Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
