is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
