just tell him i said nine months
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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