how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
