instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
