I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
