Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
