i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
