I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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