KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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