Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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