Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
