At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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