I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
