from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
