I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
