I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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