North Korea, Best Korea!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
