Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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