I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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