also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
The Olympian is in my bed
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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