your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
