Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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