This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
