Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Those nachos came to me in a dream
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
