your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
