Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Hippo gnu deer
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
