zippers are such a cool invention
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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