My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I did not marry a roomba.
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