you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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