508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
