It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
