ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Still dying that you shit outside
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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