Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
