why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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