Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
