Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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