i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
