You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
