Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
