i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
