anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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