That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
