I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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