Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
