just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
