It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
